single ladies, please never do this

Do y'all remember this post? Well here's an update. I went out to dinner with that friend, CSK, last night. She still has not yet officially moved to Philadelphia, thankfully, but has been job searching there like crazy and has been pretty much living with him as it is. This friend is a little bit nutty and is one of those people that can't let you get a word in edgewise. She kept on asking me about my boy situation and J, and every time I tried to tell her about him, it would remind her of something that her boyfriend did or said or this one time... and I did not get to tell her anything. But I digress.

A couple of years ago, one of the women's interest magazines, I believe it was Marie Claire, did a checklist of things that you should do while you're still single. One of the things on that list was to plan out your dream wedding. Personally, I do not agree with this at all. I am not one of those girls who has had her entire wedding planned out since she was five. I think that it is perfectly fine and normal to know what flowers or style wedding dress you want or if you want a June wedding at the Plaza or something in the winter, but it gets to be a problem when you don't know where to draw the line. The problem with a fantasy wedding is that it is, well, a fantasy. There is no budget and you can go crazy with planning it. However, once that ring is on your finger and you are planning a wedding for real, you start to pay attention to how much things cost, and it sets girls up for a whole world of disappointment when they realize that oh, they can't have the Vera Wang dress, and the Sylvia Weinstock cake, and the celebrity wedding planner, and all that jazz. I have had my engagement ring picked out for years (actually, there are two rings that I am obsessed with) and being that I know what price point they start at, I know there is NWIH I will ever get one.

So anyhoo, we're at dinner, eating a lovely platter of raw fish, when CSK starts telling me about her cuddlebear and how he is the love of her life. After 2.5 months of dating. Raw tuna is not one of those foods that you want to regurgitate so I sat there pretty much paralyzed trying to keep my food down. She then has started telling me that she sees the two of them getting married and has started thinking about their future. And by their future she means their wedding. And by started thinking about it, she means has planned it down to the last T. Once again folks, there is nothing wrong with fantasizing about your wedding. Nothing at all. But please know when to draw the line. This girl already has the entire wedding party picked out, her colors, the bridesmaids' dresses, the rabbi who will be marrying them, the location of the wedding, their gift registry, the floral arrangements, and most scary of all, the exact time of day that the wedding will take place because the caterer that they will be using is 2 hours away from the reception site and will need time to get there. I wish I was kidding. Is there a ring on her finger? Of course not. She also has the exact date by which he has to propose so that she has enough time to plan out everything. Let me just say that I am already planning a vacation for October of 2010 so that if this wedding actually happens, I have a reason why I can't be there. (I am not in the wedding party, but it has been "suggested" to me what colors I should wear. To the wedding that will most likely not be happening.) I have never pegged this girl to be a bridezilla, but apparently I was wrong.

It should also be noted that CSK's younger sister got married two years ago at age 20 to a man who was 14 years older than her and had just moved to the United States four months before the wedding. Her husband has been living in her mother's house while the girl is in school, about 4 hours away. They are finally moving in together on their own this summer. When I asked CSK how they were doing, her response was "they're ok, but I feel like they haven't really been married since they haven't really lived together. Who knows if the marriage will work out after they move in together?" So says the girl who was ready to move in after no time and all and has already planned out every last detail of their wedding.