Monday, March 4, 2013

These are my confessions

*I have never seen Schindler's List or any of the James Bond or Star Wars movies.
*I can't stand tattoos. Sorry if you have one. Plenty of my friends do but it is just not for me. I am also freakishly terrified of needles which doesn't help. In college when all of my friends were getting tattoos and invited me to tag along, I was so thankful that I was able to say "it's against my religion" and leave it at that.
*Like I said- hate needles. Hate them. My fear of them is so bad that I have a little stuffed Steiff monkey keychain that I bring with me to doctor's appointments so I can squeeze him in case of blood tests.
*I am horrible at public speaking and tend to shake and babble incoherently if I try to. My best friend is getting married this October and the thought of giving a speech at her wedding terrifies me. The thought of not being able to do so does to.
*I have more Snoopy t shirts than any sane person should. I'm wearing a grey t shirt with Woodstocks on it that says "Angry Birds" as I type this.
*If I'm awake, I'm wearing pearls. I have several different pairs of pearl studs. My dream item is a stud and strand set from Mikimoto.
*I take my coffee white- 1 gallon of milk, 2 pounds of sugar. Whatever room is left in the cup, you can go ahead and put coffee in that.
*I love potted plants but have inherited my mother's black thumb. I cannot keep a plant alive to save my life. Every time someone gives me a plant and says "this will last longer than flowers would," I get an expression that's half horrified and half terrified. I know that plant will be dead within the week.
*I can't swim, rollerblade, or ride a bike.
*I hate Anne Burrell more than I ever thought it possible to hate a tv personality.
*I can never seem to keep flour, sugar, butter, and eggs in the house for longer than a few days.
*My fridge is never without wine or vodka.
*I can't stand sweet tea. (Yes, I did just hear the collective gasp that came from all of the Southerners reading this.)
*In third grade, I learned that New York City is not the capital of New York State (or you know, the world), and I protested to the school librarian how unfair that is and then I went home and cried for the rest of the day.
*I can't stand Pinterest and every time someone says "oh you should look on Pinterest for ideas for ______," I groan a little inside. I am not crafty or ├╝ber-talented in the "make food look pretty" department and I know I will never make what they suggest.
*I can't stand those bare belly bump updates and constant ultrasound picture updates on Facebook. The rest of your friends may claim that your baby has his daddy's nose, but really, he just looks like a grey and white blob.
*I hate running but still want to run any marathon in which the medal is a Tiffany necklace. That will never happen.
*I have never donated blood for several reasons (health issues and my ginormous fear of needles) but I am hoping to conquer that and be well enough to donate this year.
*I know that when I die I want to be an organ donor.
*I think that if it weren't for the facts that I am not photogenic, hate running, can't drive, and don't eat weird mystery gross stuff because I keep kosher style, I would make a really awesome contestant on the Amazing Race. As it stands, if I were to ever get on the show, I would be on the very first team that was eliminated.
*I have watched so many seasons of that show that I now not-so-secretly want a Travelocity Roaming Gnome.
*I know a lot of people hate those plastic lawn flamingoes, but I've always had a soft spot for them. Should we ever move into a house with a yard, I fear we will be those people with that yard on the street.
*In January, I may have cheated a bit on that whole being a good Jew thing. We were out for dinner in NY with our friends at The Modern, a Michelin star rated restaurant, and the kitchen sent us a complimentary plate of scallops. Scallops are not kosher but I have always been curious how they would taste and I figured if I was to try them anywhere, it really should be in a Michelin starred restaurant. So I did. It was delicious and I did not get struck down by lightning. Even still, I couldn't get over the feeling of doing something bad and wrong. Would I get them again? Probably not.

What about you? Anything you'd like to share with the class?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. I think it is AWESOME that you are going to try and donate blood this year and I love that you want to be an organ donor. <3

  2. Love this! I also love how you have a soft spot for pink lawn flamingos. So cute. So do I because they always remind me of my grandparents and their house in Florida.

    - Brianna

  3. Laughing over the baby bump and ultrasound photos. Ultrasound photos drive me crazy. Should I ever have children I don't plan on posting my uterus on the internet!

    Back in the early days of the show I thought I would make a great contestant on Big Brother.

  4. I agree! tattoos are so gross. I do not know what I will do when I have children that want them.

  5. I absolutely want a yard full of plastic pink flamingoes. I may or may not have a light up one for Christmas for the front yard that I love!

  6. This cracked me up, because I agree with nearly everything on this list! So fun, I need to do a post like this!

  7. I laughed too hard reading this! I love your blog.

  8. I can relate! Can't stand tattoos! Can't rollerblade! And, I have eaten meat the last 2 fridays for lent .. whoops was at dinner with friends both times and the meatless options weren't great!

  9. Girl, I can't stand Anne Burrell either! She is so annoying and her hair makes me angry, but she can cook!

  10. I cannot stand anne either!! I used to watch Emeril on mute because I couldn't stand his voice!

  11. Love this! Honest, inspiring and sometimes hilarious! Just like it should be :)

  12. It's the middle of the night so forgive me, but are there runs with Tiffany rewards at the end? Did I read that correctly? If so, sign me up.