Here is my list of things NOT to say to a bride a week and a half before her wedding.
2) I want to sit with so and so...
I have been swamped with emails from people offering what they think are helpful tips on where they should sit. Except that they are not so helpful.
At my shower, two of my friends hit it off really well. They asked if they could sit together at my wedding. I knew that they had similar personalities and was planning on seating them at the same table. Not a problem whatsoever. Except, one of the girls kept on gchatting me trying to "remind me." When she did it again last week, I flat out told her, "I remembered the last 6 times you told me." She just laughed it off and said that she figured I would have forgotten with all of the wedding stress that I undoubtedly am having. How stressed out do you think I have to be to not remember the names of two of my friends?
My cousin emailed me asking if she could sit together with her fiance. Seriously. Where did she think I was going to seat him? With TLS's family?
A bit of a backstory here- my father had several close friends in college. They all stayed best friends and had children around the same time so the children are close as well. (One of the friends is my mother's cousin, which is actually how my parents met.)
Anyways, my cousin emailed me asking if she could sit together with her brother and her other parents' friends' children. Again, I was planning on seating them all together so not a problem. Now, here is where it gets interesting.
1) All of the "children" are fully grown. The youngest is 21. One of the children, EKB, is married and had her second child not to long ago. Another girl I was planning on putting at the table, JBK, was one of her bridesmaids. Well EKB was so rude to her re: wedding stuff and in general that now JBK refuses to sit with EKB. EKB wants to sit with her and my cousins.
2) JBK's late father's sister, her husband, their daughter, their daughter's husband, and their 21 year old daughter are coming to the wedding. JBK emailed me asking if she could sit with her aunt, uncle, and family at the wedding. It's not a problem except that she wants to sit with her 21 year old cousin also. Cousin has expressed to me that the last thing she wants to do at age 21 is sit with her parents and grandparents at the wedding. Argh.
3) The Reply By date was May 1st? When do you need to have my RSVP by?
May 1st. A friend who got married in January was complaining about how so many guests replied late and she had to track them down to get their RSVPs. Which is why I only got hers last night...
4) Can I ship my gift to your mother's house?
I'm not sure who this question annoys more- my mother or myself. My parents are fortunate to live in a 2 bedroom pre-war apartment, which means that their apartment is bigger than the average Manhattan apartment today. However, at the end of the day, it is still a two-bedroom apartment. In between all of my stuff for living here for the month, various wedding stuff that has been arriving daily- our ketubah, our guest book, gifts for the bridal party, favors, etc. she is starting to feel like she's running a warehouse. She does not want to store any more stuff. I'm just concerned about schlepping gifts back to Germany. I brought an extra bag with me just in case, and I think TLS will have some room also, but I'm not sure how much.
5) This week I'm on a kosher, gluten-free, vegan, macrobiotic diet.
6) Do you mind if instead of getting a hotel, I just crash at your parents' house the night before the wedding?
Two of my mothers' friends asked this. And I'm not sure how she kept her composure both times. Both friends are tenured professors (one at MIT and one at Tufts) and can afford a hotel for one night. The LAST thing she wants to have to deal with the night before/day of her only child's wedding is hosting guests and preparing brunches.
7) Are you excited for your wedding?
We've already been through this. Why ask the obvious? At my bachelorette party this weekend, we brainstormed snarky responses to this question. My favorite "no. I'm only getting married because my father owes a man a lot of money and this is his way of settling his debts."
Ending this post on a happier note. For all those of you who asked my second pair of wedding shoes for the reception, here they are:
|Mopsy and Flopsy|