I will not scream at my computer, I will not scream at my computer, I will not scream at my computer...

I have this guy "friend" who is one of the cockiest people I know. He was in the Israeli army at one point, and has definitely used that as a medium of picking up girls. Pretty much, at this point, the only two females in our synagogue that he hasn't slept with are the rabbis' wives and myself. Don't think he hasn't tried. He does not drink and is very into working out. Not a bad thing. A couple of months ago, he started doing this daily email called "______ daily :)" which is about several paragraphs worth of diet and excercise advice. On a daily basis. With an emoticon attached. I know that I am not the skinniest girl out there. Or the prettiest. I also know that I am not a heifer. I eat healthy (at times, at least) and work out at least an hour a day. I did not ask to be put on this email list. Being that this boy has the attention span of a turnip, I figured he would drop it faster than a round of hot potato. Surprisingly enough, he hasn't yet. I get enough mailing lists and other junk in my inbox and really don't need to hear all about how I need to eat nothing but alfalfa sprouts and work out several times a day. If I wanted my body to look like I had survived basic training in the Israeli army, I would join the Israeli army. Just saying. During Passover, him and his friend came over for dinner. They were joking about the email list, and I casually mentioned that I never read it and could he take me off the list? He said of course. That was about 18 or 19 emails ago. I'm still on it. These emails are really holier-than-thou and basically say that unless you are perfectly thin and toned and eat only organic foods, you are a failure at life and will never be happy. The same reason why I hated Skinny Bitch so much. Today, I sent him an email in response to the daily email asking him to please remove me from the list. His response? I can do that, but are you sure you want me to? I mean, I know you're single and you should to lose weight to find a guy.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) I didn't realize he and my mother were related. 2) I didn't realize I had somehow moved into the 1950's when I moved to Brooklyn. 3) Shut the youknowhat up. 4) I'm not taking dating advice from a guy who once slept with his best friend's girlfriend at the best friend's birthday party. Speaking of birthday parties, guess who's not going to yours buddy?

On a totally unrelated note, Happy 61st birthday Israel! You don't look a day over 60!!!!